Yesterday, we learned the shocking news that big bad Harvey Weinstein has wrestled Project Runway from the limp-wristed clutches of Bravo and stowed it between the dimply, cankled hocks of Lifetime: Television for Women.

Although the cash-strapped Weinstein may have pocketed a few ducats out of the deal (you know it’s all gonna be spent on roast beef and whores), this is ultimately a devastating decision – for Bravo, for the series, and especially for the viewer.

Here’s what we think Project Runway might look like in its Lifetime incarnation:

  • Designers challenged to create a fashion-forward set of Crocs
  • Heidi forced to balance Seal’s baby on her knee while judging runway couture
  • Pre-competition shopping trips move from Mood to JoAnn Fabrics
  • Heidi’s description of Michael Kors as a “top American designer” robbed of its giggly double entendre-ness
  • Nina Garcia replaced on panel by Valerie Bertinelli
  • Designers challenged to create a look for Kirstie Alley’s new line of ass-masking, cleavage-enhancing velour eveningwear
  • Tim Gunn forced to play helpful faghag to Marissa Jaret Winokur in upcoming telefilm about fat girl’s journey toward self-acceptance
  • Catchphrase “You’re either in or you’re out” replaced with “She Cried ‘You’re Out!’ The Heidi Klum Story.”

‘Project Runway’ makes a move [Variety]

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